Saturday, April 25, 2009

Old Men Shouldn't Shop

Early today I went to my favorite Big Box Store "CHINA'S BEST FRIEND". Its not that I don't Love America. We don't have a soup kitchen. so I have to buy my chicken broth and bacon bits as cheap as I can find them. I make my own soup with added water. But I'm leaving my train of thought.

I was really thinking about that "Old Saw" that women use (Shop till You Drop). I was busy looking for wheat Flakes, skim milk, and rubber gloves. My wife doesn't like me to touch her with my bear(bare) hands. 

 Suddenly, as I was shopping, my legs said you are going to drop. My legs are always the first to know.
I rushed to the checkout counter to avoid a 911 call. I frightened away one person in my line by shouting "Sick man coming through." ( I had once used that line on a crowed bus when I was a young foolish over drinker.  I had to throw up on three people to clear the way. By the time I got off the Bus there was enough room for everybody to sit.) But [once again] I have wondered from the path of my story. Old men often do that.

The point is , old me should not shop unless they have a companion. Dropping to the floor in a large store will either get you trampled on or make someone swap mouth juice with you for no good cause. Old men shouldn't shop except in an emergence.

William Hodge